The Coming Home Mixtape

by CPR

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1.
(Verse 1) alright now close your eyes and stick your index finger out now spin around in circles till you think your falling down now open your eyes no matter what your pointing at this is my life isnt my fight questions left… right peace of mind… never in sight dont know why maybe… pride or maybe im right maybe I need time truth … manipulated life's work... annihilated now… frustrated everything … taken why the hell do i keep trying everythings dieing remind me why am I doing this do you know who I'm trying to prove this to or is this just what I'm used to I dont know do you no me neither but I believe theres a reason (chorus) How am i supposed to press when I'm the only one left? and everyone else is either dead or completely out of breath i guess I'm just destined for greatness... i guess, I'm just destined for greatness... (x2) They go with the flow... but me upstream thats what you do when you value something the worlds mean... cruel crushing dreams lengths i go... seem extreme Im going places that you've never been Heard about in legends but that you've never seen but the path of least resistance is the opposite direction But they keep swimming silly little fishes press on... past so called blessed ones yea its tough.. but im learning lessons and though the winds blowing and its cold I'm still going cuz i know that I've been chosen and my dreams aren't yet frozen So world... listen... i will overcome you You wont even know what hit you with what I'm gonna do So although right now you all discount me one day your kids in history class will read about me (chorus) How am i supposed to press when I'm the only one left? and everyone else is either dead or completely out of breath i guess I'm just destined for greatness... i guess, I'm just destined for greatness... (x2) Funny...don't even know it... funny funny... you cant control it You think as you sleep your moments are stolen But as you sleep your slowly growing yet if i slept for a million years i wouldn't be taller this is my frustration... the calling God's called me I don't think it can get any longer I don't see how this could be making me any stronger Maybe i over focus on becoming a success But what am i supposed to do when I'm destined for greatness Theres something inside me that pulls me have i been here already... you cant fool me the suns going down... voices are coming out sometimes so loud... question is how I don't know right now... So I look to the heavens and question when did... i last check them (chorus) How am i supposed to press when I'm the only one left? and everyone else is either dead or completely out of breath i guess I'm just destined for greatness... i guess, I'm just destined for greatness... (x2) (Hook) Who do you think you are and is it really true... And could you really prove it if you really had to... (x4)
2.
The Tortoise 03:05
They say faith and patients produce the promise And I've got lots of faith for the crazy and the impossible I believe that if I speak to the mountain it will move And if I pray with out ceasing my dreams will come true But I don’t see why it hasn’t happened yet I've stepped out on the water and just got my feet wet I've spoken to tombs to arise and wombs to revive But nothings happened yet, can this truth be a lie? I'm not getting any younger I'm in my twenties Old people would tell me that my years are still plenty But what happened to the God who said I could do anything? If I just believed, he would unlock my destiny? So I cry to the heavens my complaints and concerns And a voice whispers 2 of my least favorite words Be patient... Be patient…? Nowadays that translates as time being wasted We live in a world where waiting is lazy So if your not chasing like everyone else than your crazy When there's nowhere to go we just walk around pacing A hasty generation vainly seeking the same thing Opportunities a window, they say seize the moment Grab the bull by the horns, only one chance to own it But what about stopping just to smell the roses I think we love the rush and its just tough to let go of… (chorus) Feels like the planet needs to spin around faster But patients is a virtue and I know I don’t have it So I've got to somehow break this habit Cuz the tortoise beats the rabbit in the race for what matters The tortoise beats the rabbit in the race for what matters x4 (Verse 2) They say patience is a virtue Not sure its true Isn't that just what you say when the server hasn't helped you Don’t wanna lie around For crying out loud Speed limits tie me down Cuz I just want it right now I don’t see how that’s too much to ask man But I always seem to want the things I can't have I guess at times you just have to face facts and The truth is that I just have to relax man I just feel im gonna blow like a gas can Ready to save the city like bat man This is not the path that i once had planned Waiting around is one thing that I cant stand Slow and steady is the pace it takes to win the race Impatience is a mistake too many of us make Don’t wanna waste my time in too much hastiness Cuz the tortoise doesn’t quit but the tortious knows patience (chorus) Feels like the planet needs to spin around faster But patients is a virtue and I know I don’t have it So I've got to somehow break this habit Cuz the tortoise beats the rabbit in the race for what matters The tortoise beats the rabbit in the race for what matters x4
3.
Verse 1 Theres a lot of things I'm not really sure of in this life Whats love whats fear whats wrong whats right When should I back down.. when is it time to fight? Theres a lot of grey in this world of black and white All you need is love but all I see is hatred Did God know about the pain before we were created? If he did I wonder why he chose make us I guess it wouldn’t be love if it wasn’t complicated We all have our reasons for doing what we do Seems like intentions are often misconstrued Theres times where im not sure if I even believe in truth When I see it so perverted, misused and abused But even though this worlds full of so many fakers I try to keep my heart from the poison of anger I don’t get it now, but maybe I will later I try to stay open to a mind-state that’s greater We always have a choice At least we think we do... We always try so hard Thought this to be true... Verse 2 I don’t know why any of us are here It seems so random, strange and weird If God has a plan, shouldn’t it be more clear Its almost like he’s trying to not interfere Almost like he doesn’t really want to take part Letting us figure out what’s right and wrong He gave us a book, but it doesn’t tell us all And there’s things in there that make me more lost I could be just young, just too immature To understand how this world really works So many people, they seem so sure But I’m still lost in all the obscure But even though life can gets so hectic I try to remember I don’t have to get it Lifes full of curses and full of blessings Maybe the lesson is just to accept it We always have a choice At least we think we do... We always try so hard Thought this to be true... Verse 3 Sometimes I don’t think I believe in karma I’ve seen kindness produce more drama I’ve see love be completely swallowed I’ve seen evil in the name of allah If I said I had the answers it’d be a lie But some people feel like they giving it a try Explaining things, nobody knows why Maybe they’re wrong, maybe they’re right But if there are answers I don’t have them I don’t why there’s no cure to cancer But I do know that I don’t understand it But for some reason God gives second chances I’ve found hope is something from above Something supernatural we didn’t make up But I do know knowledge isn’t as good as trust And human wisdom isn’t as good as real love We always have a choice At least we think we do... We always try so hard Thought this to be true... Sometimes you are answer to my questions And sometimes you are the question to my answers… Sometimes you are the problem to my solutions … And sometimes you are solution to my problems
4.
Sometimes it makes me mad that you are invisible Especially in the moments when life gets difficult Cursed is a generation who asks for a miracle But I'm getting sick of riddles and the parables I go to church I see no God I go home I see my dog I go work my part time job And wonder where it is you are Don’t know what to do sometimes As bills pile up to reach the sky Don't know what to tell my wife Don’t know how to feel inside I feel bitterness and anger Forgiveness is a stranger So this is my prayer Do me this single favor Tell me what I need to hear Tell me clear Show me I don’t need to fear That you’re here That you care and see the tears Its not that I don’t know pain is part of life I can sense the battle I feel dark inside Please revive, this broken heart of mine Tell me I'm doing fine and everything's gonna be alright, (Hook) Give me a sign, tell me that I'm Doing fine That the dream inside Is still divine not in my mind Tell me your eyes Can see that I'm trying I just feel like Hope is dying Remind me why I'm still alive x2 Sometimes I wonder what it is that you want When I'm done every single thing I can think of I cry out to the god who they say is love and begin to wonder if you even care or not And I know that lately I haven't being praying But its hard to keep praying when you feel so angry Confusion is a web and I've gotten so tangled I once saw so clear what now I see faintly Tell me those words That always reverse All of the hurts and make me feel like I'm not really cursed Tell me before it gets better it always gets worse But then it gets better, better then its been ever before Give me a sign, Give me a wonder Give me something while I suffer To understand the struggle Make it suddenly storm, make it lightening and thunder Give me a clue to what this pain is all for (Hook) Give me a sign, tell me that I'm Doing fine That the dream inside Is still divine not in my mind Tell me your eyes Can see that I'm trying I just feel like Hope is dying Remind me why I'm still alive x2
5.
Vs 1 I feel like I was born with a gift and a curse I'm not talking the gift to use lyrics and words I was given something else, I think this is worse A heart full of passion , I've had it since birth Maybe its the Irish in me that gives me the nerve Or maybe the reality is I am just a jerk The persistence to press, even if I'm not sure Convinced I'm not bound by the laws of this earth See at times I'm as stubborn as a mule, Stubborn as a jackass, acting like a fool I couldn’t tell you why I do half of the things I do Sometimes I don’t listen when I probably should And passion is great, I believe it's a gift A desire so strong its impossible to quench But do you think passion and patience can co-exist Cuz lately it's being making a rift that seems to big (hook) I just really hope this whole thing is bigger than me X8 Vs 2 Do you ever feel like you might be the problem Like if you disappeared your issues would be solved but Your stuck with yourself and so you ponder Is self exorcism a possible option I really hope there's some sort of path laid out And all I have to do is walk it and not doubt And when disaster starts to come around I hope there's a safety net that I don’t know about Cuz theres a destructive nature To my behavior A hole like a crater That I can't I cant get away from Theres pain and anger In my heart chambers Makes innocence start to feel like a stranger Turns out I'm my greatest adversary So I try to stay careful but also stay care free I try to ignore that this is very scary And hope what I've been through has some how prepared me (hook) I just really hope this whole thing is bigger than me X8 Vs 3 Like a million piece puzzle that’s missing some pieces I sort through the thoughts that keep me from sleeping What if God thinks the same thing I'm thinking That none of this is real but all of it has meaning There was a tree and a man and a snake and a plan To make man eat then be destroyed from within And sometimes I'm tempted to blame Adam But I wonder why God let it the whole thing happen Wouldn’t it be easier to remove the option? How come that snake was even capable of talking And if there was no tree could there still be a garden These hypothetical mind jobs leave me exhausted What is the purpose of searching for purpose What if I'm suppose to change the world through verses That feels like more than I think I can be I just really hope this whole thing is bigger than me (hook) I just really hope this whole thing is bigger than me X8
6.
I feel like I'm seeing ghosts Shadows lurking behind lights posts Follow me and look at me through my window They are getting close Symptoms that I cant diagnose I pretend like I know everything but really I don’t Cuz I don’t really understand why I wont run when its time to go I get so close and then quit why I don’t know I fight for what I most Desire then I get tired and I lose the fire in my soul I feel cold and alone and trapped inside a zone Where fear is so clear yet I cant let go I've got my hold on this a throne Made of bronze and silver stones I have made my home The only place I've ever known Haunted by the thought that any minute now Everything around Could just come crashing down If there is something holding the universe together Then that's the only hope I can ever measure But I can hear a call to go back to where I lost it all Take a pen right down all my faults then cross them off Act like tragedy never even occurred They tell me I can move on but I wonder if they're sure Just live life like you never lived on the streets Like you always had a family and never smoked weed Act like you never did drugs just to feel alive And when it didn’t work you tried attempting suicide It is like a reflex for me to wonder where I'll eat next I'm a grown ass man but inside I'm still a street kid I act real solid but inside I've got a secret My heart is a been broke bashed bruised and bleeding And somehow after this I kept on walking When my leg got taken out I just started hoppin And when I dressed real nice but inside I was starving Its cuz there's a warrior inside that keeps on marching So somehow I've got to find that inner child That buried under lies that are buried under pride And allow love to melt the ice so I can arise To surface the purpose for which I am alive
7.
Coming Home 04:23
Verse 1 I've met the people who hide in the darkness joined them and became one of the hardest but it wasnt until i hit rock bottom i found out who i wasnt because all had was nothing so now im at the door step pacing... sweat dripping from my forehead cuz if its not important then how come i cant forget i want to tell you that im sorry cuz on the inside it is torture will you still love me when you know what ive become Everything's starting to go the way it should be The things i didnt even know if it could be This is my chance if i dont grab it thens it gone window of opportunity only open for so long dreams coming true freak me out prophesy about the future is good until its now Sometimes I wonder if my whole life’s wasted Other times I wonder if inside resides greatness (Hook) I think I'm ready to finally come home Don't remember what its like to not feel alone Seems like I've never really known where I belong But somewhere my heart stayed pure all along I think I'm ready to finally come home Don't remember what its like to not feel alone I've struggled and fought my way through the unknown But for some reason innocence wouldn't let go Verse 2 Is anybody out there cuz I cant see a thing Walking in the dark my heart begins to shrink I remember this is where I failed my last test What better place to start from I guess when you've lived in prison for long you dont wanna come home cuz your scared all the love is all gone blame is piling it up as the shame is rising up this pain wont lighten up I still don’t know who im hiding from Im trying to learn to trust want you so much but every time you I reach to touch I feel like its not enough so i self destruct You got help me rejection's Made me so fearful and selfish How can i ignore the all these voices in my head When i cant change all the wrong that i did Im still not strong enough to be who im supposed to I need you so bad you can have me if you want to (Hook) I think I'm ready to finally come home Don't remember what its like to not feel alone Seems like I've never really known where I belong But somewhere my heart stayed pure all along I think I'm ready to finally come home Don't remember what its like to not feel alone I've struggled and fought my way through the unknown But for some reason innocence wouldn't let go Verse 3 I take my place among the other disqualified Seems better than always trying to live a stupid lie Purity, a casualty, the battle to survive All I can tell God is sorry but I tried... The world is so cold, so my heart had to be colder In a very short time I became a lot older Don’t know how I've carried it all on my shoulders Or how all this trauma I'll ever get over When I look back I see a scared and frightened kid Not the monster they insisted inside of me lived I now see why I made the choices that I did All along I was fighting in case you did exist just a boy, not ready to be a man Forced to make choices I didn’t understand Innocence, a sacrifice that seemed necessary But now I see innocence is you and you really left me (Hook) I think I'm ready to finally come home Don't remember what its like to not feel alone Seems like I've never really known where I belong But somewhere my heart stayed pure all along I think I'm ready to finally come home Don't remember what its like to not feel alone I've struggled and fought my way through the unknown But for some reason innocence wouldn't let go
8.
(Chorus) My feet on are on the ground but my mind's in the clouds So many people try to shut you down No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming You can't change tomorrow if your scared of today That's why I'm focused never afraid No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming Sleep deprived, I've tried to fight to find, something right in life cuz there is such a fight inside They say that this time is mine and I think if their right than I'd rather die than not shine this little light of mine a voice from the sky tells me that i must try to fly and not buy the lie, I am wholly hoping to hit the highest height I burn your eyes like cyanide Blinding the wise and guiding the blind to finally see the light inside I close my eyes I see the tombs open The chains on my imagination have been broken So it looks like I am sleeping but really I am floating away to place far away cuz I am still hoping.. Even if it's difficult, I've got to be original, It is critical that they literally look at me and say There is no typical way he could on his physical strength It must just be a miracle eh? (Chorus) My feet on are on the ground but my mind's in the clouds So many people try to shut you down No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming You can't change tomorrow if your scared of today That's why I'm focused never afraid No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming I have learned every mistake in life is forgivable And what doesn't kill you just proves your unkillable I know that my purpose in life must be pivotal the only explanations that i have are spiritual Ive got a problem and no man can fix it Only I can take my mind's paradigm and switch it turns out the answer was so simplistic Press past fear, ignore critics They see a different man then who they saw yesterday But they haven't seen me yet achieve full victory So I'm not quitting, not until I got everything Not till I've made my mark on history Chain reaction like dominos I have got to go I dunno where I'm goin, only the father knows, Lifes a headache, but we've got the tylenol My lyrics the prescription and they just keep on poppin those (Chorus) My feet on are on the ground but my mind's in the clouds So many people try to shut you down No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming You can't change tomorrow if your scared of today That's why I'm focused never afraid No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming No time to worry I'm too busy dreaming

about

I think I'm ready to finally come home...

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released December 5, 2012

Lyrics written by Chris Petkau
Recorded at BNR Records

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CPR Wilmington, North Carolina

The MC Escher of the rap game

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